Top Ten Ways Val Messes With Your Mind

  1. During Happy Hour, someone asks you where the john is and you tell him '2n 3e 2s 2e 2n en'.

  2. You threw out the wallet pix of your family so you could fit in reduced screen shots of you getting kills on BK and White Witch.

  3. 'How was that exam, Phil?' 'Somewhat stronger.'

  4. You log in on your wedding day to check the message board.

  5. While composing a term paper you find yourself repeatedly pressing the 'h' key after every linefeed.

  6. During class you always shout 'idle' before taking a quick snooze.

  7. "Lemme wield this pencil?"

  8. At parties you can't understand why members of the opposite sex object so strongly to being licked.

  9. When asked about the ailing health of George Burns, you reply "He has a (chance = heal + 1/2 wisdom - (-20)) of getting better." Then you nod wisely and say "Shoulda raised wisdom."

  10. You answer the phone: "You dare to explore the mysteries of Joe's place?"