Top Ten Things You'd Rather Be Doing Than So-And-So's Request

  1. I'd rather get a tattoo with hot-sauce ink on my left buttcheek.

  2. I'd rather be circumcised with a plastic spoon.

  3. I'd rather learn to live on throat cultures and plaque.

  4. I'd rather strangle myself to death with Rokk's stinky pajamas.

  5. I'd rather have intelligent conversations with Presto concerning how much he rewls, and if its instinctive or an acquired trait.

  6. I'd rather play Magic chopping my fingers and toes off as life points.

  7. I'd rather coach Sweetie and Ragman to the regional spelling bee finals.

  8. I'd rather stand in line at an Angela Lansbury kissing booth.

  9. I'd rather type 'bite ysidro' in the pub while resting.

  10. I'd rather gag everyone and completely isolate myself from the rest of the MUD because as everyone knows I'm way better than all of them put together anyway so why should I bother with them?